Burn Survivors

As I was doing research on my memoir (Burned: A Memoir--published this April)about an accident which severely burned my parents when I was four-- a burn survivor--who was physically scarred-- said to me, "Everyone in the family is now considered a burn survivor." My skin(except when I have eczema around my chin) is free of scars, unlike my mother's scarred face--so I had never considered myself "burned." However, what this man said to me was freeing--and brings up the difference between now and the 1950's when the accident occurred.

In the 1950's in America, perhaps as a result of World War II--there was a tremendous desire to be "fine", to assimilate, to not"air your dirty laundry" and families were exclusive constellations--orbiting mainly around themselves. Therapeutic intervention was a luxury for the wealthy and many considered getting help outside the family as a indicator of great weakness.

Times have changed--at least in many places in America. When traumatic events happen--and unfortunately they happen quite often--counselors are immediately sent in--families are brought together to talk--and the code of silence--which seemed so "dignified" in the 50's has now been broken. Stories are being told. Men can weep. Children can articulate their fears. Women can say what they feel.

We all know that services that help families are severely underfunded; however, there is hope. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers of those who are physically burned, can now be brought into a community to talk about what has happened to their loved ones.
This fall I will talk to a group of professionals who work with burn patients--and I know that I will have a tremendous amount to add to the discussion. When my parents were burned in the cellar in Cape Cod while my sister and I slept upstairs, we all became burn survivors, united by this terrible tragedy and united by love.